It’s the season when darts takes to its biggest and brightest stage at Ally Pally and so I will enter the festive mood, slapping thighs and mixing metaphors.
I have been known for years as the Black Spot when it comes to darts predicting, so that should be remembered as you peruse the following. DO NOT place any bets on Sidney’s hunches.
Here is my big pumpkin-sized prediction: Phil Taylor, the Crafty Potter, will beat James Wade, the Magic Mechanic, in the final by 7 sets to 3 and his end average will be 113.6, a new world record.
This is not just Geordie whimsy; Taylor has won the grand slam this year and has put up giant numbers at every turn. Nobody else has shown the fight, consistency or hunger. Sky’s documentary ‘Phil Taylor’s World’ contains glowing tributes to Phil from Steven Gerrard, Andy Flintoff and Ronnie O’Sullivan, all saying that the Stokie is up there with Pele, Bradman and Babe Ruth as a sporting super hero. And mark my words, Phil is ten per cent better than he was 12 months ago. I cannot wait to give the verbals on his matches.
Now let’s look at the rest of the cast…I reckon Phil will play his former pupil Adrian Lewis, alias Daddy Cool, in the quarter finals. Adie is maturing nicely and is a commentator’s dream. He had a 109 average in a tight loss to Phil recently. Expect at least 17 180s in this game.
I expect Mervyn King, Baron Broody, to be tested by Co Stompe and go on to the quarter final stage. He is supposed to meet John Part, Darth Maple, there, but I fancy Mark Walsh, the Ace of Herts, to come through and face King. Mark is better than ever after shaking off the dreaded dartitis.
Again I think the seeding will be upset in the lower half of the draw. I reckon Gary Anderson, the Haggis Basher, will steal into the last eight and dish Ronnie Baxter, Rocket Man. However, despite the challenge of Kevin Painter, The Artist, I cannot see Ray van Barneveld, Dutch Dynamite, failing to meet Walsh.
The last quarter-final pairing will be Terry Jenkins, the Raging Bull –after a classic match against Paul Nicholson, the Geordie Aussie who shone last year – and James Wade.
Possible dents in this scenario could be made by Kevin McDine, Dude With Attitude, and Colin Lloyd, Open Jaws. Also Peter Manley, Baron Hardup, could make an impression.
I will be reporting regularly from Ally Pally, OH YES I WILL!
NOTE: Any new nicknames will be gratefully accepted. Remember, Stratford Willy himself was never afraid to plagiarise.