My old battered dinner suit and patent leather pumps have not half taken a bashing in the last three weeks.
First I had to go to Ally Pally for a Sky trailer for the World Darts. It was fine doing the first six hours of filming – me walking past portraits of the legends. Then the fun started: I was told to go on the balcony for the piece de resistance. It was three degrees below and I stood with a blanket screaming out over the Smoke. Then I was told to start sucking ICE CUBES…to take the hot air off my breath. Some chance! Hot Bovril at a greasy spoon in Muswell Hill never felt better.
Then last weekend it was off to do more publicity in the tux, this time for the Sunday Mirror. I had to dance a jive and a tango with my daughter Charlotte. Then the snapper had a brainwave: could I try a few Fred Astaire flying heel kicks? Now I am writing this with aches from my sacro-iliac to my ankles. Hello and welcome to Strictly Come Hobbling.
TUNGSTEN TIPS
I reckon the stars and other darters will not be fazed by the mighty, cathedral-like venue this year. I think there will be 100+ end averages from the get-go.
Phil Taylor has to be favourite to become world champ given his mind-blowing form since week four of the Premier League. But he might be over-wound for ‘his’ title and could get sloppy round double 16. Plus, we know he can get stale with over-practice. But if he gets to round three he will blitz everyone.
I don’t think Barney or John Part are at their best. Ray seems jaded and in need of his old Zen coach who prepared him for his 2007 win. John seems patchy, and has never recently hit the 110 average performances that will be needed here.
I think James Wade, Terry Jenkins and Robert Thornton are in with a great chance. But I predict that the two most flamboyant lads of the first eight days will be Adrian Lewis and Kevin Painter. Adrian did Barney 9-2 recently and Kev reached last year’s semis. These are the boys who add the molten mercury to the turbulent tungsten - and third degree Burns plus mementoes of McGonagall to the commentary.
Can’t wait…